I think the last time I went through this game was when I was 11 or 12. It had to be around 2001. I remember playing it in three places: 1) my grandparents', 2) my dad's old apartment in Middlesboro (the front facing one), and 3) my friend Casey's. We've been passing by my dad's old place a lot lately so I think that's why it popped into my head. I've been thinking about it for a week now but I just finally started it up this afternoon. The first big hurdle was finding the actual game -- it was upstairs in my grandparents' attic in one of the numerous boxes I left there before we went to Japan. There are literally hundreds if not thousands of games in those boxes. Luckily I found Chrono Cross in the first box of Playstation games I looked through (along with Crash Bandicoot 3 that I brought down for Diana and a copy of Time Stalkers for the Dreamcast that I was hoping would be worth a little money SPOILER ALERT: it isn't). I brought it downstairs and hooked up an old PS1 I had laying around, but first I had to go through a recently-packed box just to find a power cord and a video cable which meant more moving and digging. Once I took it all into the back bedroom where we've been staying and hooked it up to the TV and got started, the game froze at one of the battle result screens. I restarted and made it through a battle with no problems -- SUCCESS! Or so I thought. Once I fought the same enemy from the first time around it froze again. I went into the other room and swapped out the PS1 for a dirtier one -- unfortunately that one wouldn't even boot up the game. I had one of the smaller PSOne consoles in the pile but I had no clue where the AC Adapter for that one was. I ended up going outside to the shed where a bunch of my other crap is to look for it. Of course, after unstacking four huge boxes/totes, I found a huge Kroger bag filled with tangled up cords -- but still no PSOne power cord. Fortunately, I ended up finding my white PSTwo, its AC Adapter, and an ASCII Grip controller that I had bought a few years ago and never used. About 10 minutes later, I was ready to finally start the game.
I thought it would be cool to use the ASCII Grip controller to play through the game since I've had the urge to experiment with ambidextrousness for the past little bit. I'm very into the idea of breaking habits of all shapes and sizes and this seemed like an interesting way to do it. If I was in an RPG, my dexterity stat would be hilariously low and it's something I've always wanted to change. I've already found myself playing with the controller in one hand and my phone in the other. Talk about irony and habits.
Talking to the fisherman in Arni makes me think about how much I miss living near the ocean. While we were living in Muroran, we were literally half a mile away from the Pacific Ocean. I'd never lived that close to the ocean before then! The water was always kind of cold and people never really swam outside July or August but there were always surfers out there year round. During my last month or two there, I'd run out to Itanki Beach, jump into the ocean and swim around for maybe 15-20 minutes, then run back to our apartment. Those were some really great times. I'd get back home and be so covered in salt that I'd break out in a rash and get all itchy if I didn't take a shower. Now we're an eight hour drive away from the Atlantic.
When you stop and think about it, the sea's been around for practically everything, hasn't it? The primordial soup of life -- it's heard and seen it all.
"What came from the sea has returned to the sea."
I was 12 the last time I played through this game and now I'm realizing that a lot of stuff went over my head. I didn't even remember that Serge (the player character) had died 10 years earlier in the Other World. You visit your own grave. What is it with alternate realities and timelines? Just a few nights ago I had a dream where I ran into my high school Sociology teacher (he was also the father of a childhood friend). I looked at him and asked him, "Aren't you dead?" He smiled, in a way that was all too common for him, and said, "Yes, I am." I can't remember much more about the conversation we had, but I know that we had a long one, one where I definitely knew the truth behind what was happening. I specifically mentioned something about the dream being an alternate timeline where he was still alive.
"As you gaze at the sea all day long...
One starts to wonder where the sea ends, and where I start...
I've tried to live my way, but maybe I have just been drifting along, trapped in the ebb and flow of the ocean's tides...
Wouldn't you agree, dear?
?
How could I forget? She has already returned to the great sea..."
Earlier, while I was nervously waiting for my grandparents to get home (I notice that I always glance out the door obsessively when I expect them to get back) I got on my grandma's computer and looked up a list of the rarest PS1 games. I came across one newer list that had Revelations: Persona's intro video linked and posted it on Facebook captioned with the Soshi passage used in the video, the one about dreaming you're a butterfly. Which is it? Are you dreaming you're the butterfly or is the butterfly dreaming that it's you?
Is there really any difference between the two scenarios?
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